Elisa Donovan became forever recognizable as Amber, Cher Horowitz's fabulously overdressed rival in the 1995 classic Clueless. But behind one of the most memorable characters of the '90s is an actress, writer and mother whose life took turns she never could have imagined. Elisa joins Steve Kmetko for a candid conversation about landing Clueless, creating Amber from the mean girls she knew growing up, working with Alicia Silverstone, and the Clueless joke she didn't even understand when she delivered it. She also opens up about Brittany Murphy, sharing a hilarious memory from the Clueless set and revealing the troubling signs she says she witnessed the last time she saw Brittany before her death. Elisa talks about nearly landing the lead in Showgirls, climbing into bed with Jason Priestley on her first day of Beverly Hills, 90210, her frustration during Sabrina the Teenage Witch, losing her father to cancer, and the extraordinary dreams that changed the way she thinks about grief and death. Plus, Elisa explains why she believes Hollywood is losing the kinds of movies that once gave actors and storytellers room to take chances. This is Still Here Hollywood. I'm Steve Kmetko. Join us with today's guest, from Clueless, actor Elisa Donovan. 00:00 Elisa Donovan joins Still Here Hollywood 01:54 Knowing she wanted to become an actor 04:04 The personality trait that helped her survive Hollywood 05:32 Her first television break on Blossom 07:01 The Showgirls role she desperately wanted 10:14 Learning from rejection in Hollywood 11:41 Did anyone know Clueless would become a classic? 13:19 The intimidating Clueless audition 15:34 Learning how television really works 15:50 Her first day in bed with Jason Priestley on 90210 18:04 Nearly walking away from acting after Sabrina 19:53 Behind the scenes of Clueless 20:00 Remembering Brittany Murphy on set 22:00 Learning Brittany Murphy had died 22:46 The troubling signs Elisa says she witnessed 25:52 Still Here Hollywood 27:12 Breckin Meyer and remembering Brittany 28:25 The real girls who inspired Amber 30:07 Why Amber was so much fun to play 31:13 How Clueless changed Elisa's life 34:22 The improvised moments that made the movie 35:48 The Clueless joke Elisa didn't understand 36:29 Why Clueless still connects 30 years later 38:09 What Hollywood has lost 41:44 Becoming a writer 44:41 What writing gave her that acting couldn't 46:05 Writing Wake Me When You Leave 48:13 Losing her father and losing her way 50:32 The dreams that changed everything 53:18 Writing through grief 56:01 What Elisa would tell Amber today
Elisa Donovan became forever recognizable as Amber, Cher Horowitz's fabulously overdressed rival in the 1995 classic Clueless. But behind one of the most memorable characters of the '90s is an actress, writer and mother whose life took turns she never could have imagined.
Elisa joins Steve Kmetko for a candid conversation about landing Clueless, creating Amber from the mean girls she knew growing up, working with Alicia Silverstone, and the Clueless joke she didn't even understand when she delivered it.
She also opens up about Brittany Murphy, sharing a hilarious memory from the Clueless set and revealing the troubling signs she says she witnessed the last time she saw Brittany before her death.
Elisa talks about nearly landing the lead in Showgirls, climbing into bed with Jason Priestley on her first day of Beverly Hills, 90210, her frustration during Sabrina the Teenage Witch, losing her father to cancer, and the extraordinary dreams that changed the way she thinks about grief and death.
Plus, Elisa explains why she believes Hollywood is losing the kinds of movies that once gave actors and storytellers room to take chances.
This is Still Here Hollywood. I'm Steve Kmetko. Join us with today's guest, from Clueless, actor Elisa Donovan.
00:00 Elisa Donovan joins Still Here Hollywood
01:54 Knowing she wanted to become an actor
04:04 The personality trait that helped her survive Hollywood
05:32 Her first television break on Blossom
07:01 The Showgirls role she desperately wanted
10:14 Learning from rejection in Hollywood
11:41 Did anyone know Clueless would become a classic?
13:19 The intimidating Clueless audition
15:34 Learning how television really works
15:50 Her first day in bed with Jason Priestley on 90210
18:04 Nearly walking away from acting after Sabrina
19:53 Behind the scenes of Clueless
20:00 Remembering Brittany Murphy on set
22:00 Learning Brittany Murphy had died
22:46 The troubling signs Elisa says she witnessed
25:52 Still Here Hollywood
27:12 Breckin Meyer and remembering Brittany
28:25 The real girls who inspired Amber
30:07 Why Amber was so much fun to play
31:13 How Clueless changed Elisa's life
34:22 The improvised moments that made the movie
35:48 The Clueless joke Elisa didn't understand
36:29 Why Clueless still connects 30 years later
38:09 What Hollywood has lost
41:44 Becoming a writer
44:41 What writing gave her that acting couldn't
46:05 Writing Wake Me When You Leave
48:13 Losing her father and losing her way
50:32 The dreams that changed everything
53:18 Writing through grief
56:01 What Elisa would tell Amber today
Steve Kmetko
Yes, I'm still here, Hollywood. And coming up on today's episode, some movies entertain us for a season; others become part of our culture forever. Our guest helped create one of the most beloved and endlessly quoted films of the 1990s, then built a career that continues to evolve through acting, writing, and storytelling, this is still here, Hollywood. I'm Steve Kometko. Join us with today's guest from Clueless, actor Elisa Donovan. Hello, Elisa.
Elisa Donovan
I'm Steve. Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you.
Steve Kmetko
How has your day been so far?
Elisa Donovan
Well, it's been good. I woke up in San Francisco. My daughter has spent the weekend surfing with friends, so there was no parenting this morning. Oh, that's nice. It was great. Yeah, my husband went to play tennis. I came here, so it's it's been pretty. Everybody's busy. Everybody's like busy, but yeah. And you flew down from San Francisco. I did. You've lived there for how long? So I just am remembering 15 years now. The time it, I really that kind of freaks me out because I was thinking about how long I've lived in L.A. and that's always the longest. Is you know I lived in LA longer than you know where I grew up, and that's 20 years. And now I'm coming. This is 15 in San Francisco, and yowza!
Steve Kmetko
Time flies. It
Elisa Donovan
really does.
Steve Kmetko
Yeah, I know. I've lived. I grew grew up. I was born in Cleveland. I grew up in Chicago, which is where I live now. I come back here once a month, but when I was here in Los Angeles, I was here for like 30 years.
Elisa Donovan
Yeah, yeah.
Steve Kmetko
It doesn't didn't seem like it at the time. I know. But looking back, I guess hindsight is a good thing.
Elisa Donovan
It's a good yeah. I mean, I think so.
Steve Kmetko
Yeah. Growing up, did you always imagine yourself becoming an actor?
Elisa Donovan
Yeah.
Steve Kmetko
You did from early on.
Elisa Donovan
From I did a play in the first grade, and it was a western, and I played a man, the bad guy, which kind of makes me laugh if I think about it now, because so many of the characters that I've played are like you know the spice in the soup or like the bad girl. I never thought about it till right now, and so I had like a a black cowboy hat and a mustache and a
Steve Kmetko
mustache. Yes,
Elisa Donovan
I had to you know like one of these like twirling mustaches and
Steve Kmetko
handlebar
Elisa Donovan
a handlebar and my mom I was supposed to wear a black I wanted to wear a black button-down, and they don't make black button-downs for seven-year-old children. You know, so we got the writ dye and dyed it, and it wouldn't turn black. And I was beside myself, like so upset that this I couldn't get get it the way I wanted it. My mom was just going, "What is like this is incredibly important to her, and then I was really, you know, I was up there and I went, oh, I love this, like this becoming this other person, and but I didn't understand you could make a job. I didn't realize it was, it could be a career. You know, when
Steve Kmetko
did you realize?
Elisa Donovan
Well, when I was in eighth grade, I started to study outside of school, and that's when I went. I'm going to do this with my life. Now, my parents did not really agree with this plan, so you know that was a bit of a. It took a while to put it into action, but I kept saying you know I wanted to go to college to be an educated actress, not to for something to quote fall back on. You know which was I think what my dad intended it to be.
Steve Kmetko
Parents always do that with the you need something to fall back on.
Elisa Donovan
Yes, yes.
Steve Kmetko
What personality trait did young Elisa have that ended up helping you survive Hollywood?
Elisa Donovan
Humor, like an ability to have a sense of humor about myself. That's something in my family. We use humor sometimes, you know to perhaps not deeply get too involved in something, but it also is a great source of you know being able to have a sense of humor about yourself. And I also think being kind like my parents, my father passed away years ago now, but my mom, you know, they're good people, and they always encouraged us to to be kind to other people, and that how you leave someone is more important than what you take away from a place, you know. So I do feel, which is a strange thing, you know, not everybody. Subscribes to that in this business, but I think if you do, you one have a better general experience, and two, then people feel they can rely on you.
Steve Kmetko
I think in general we don't see as much of that as we should, you know. You see all those T-shirts now that say "Be kind.
Elisa Donovan
Yes, yeah. Like we all need the reminder. Yes, which is. I think that's a good
Steve Kmetko
idea. I might get myself one.
Elisa Donovan
Yeah.
Steve Kmetko
Was there one performance in particular that made you think I could do this for for a living?
Elisa Donovan
You mean watching someone?
Steve Kmetko
No.
Elisa Donovan
Oh, myself.
Steve Kmetko
Yes.
Elisa Donovan
Oh, well, it definitely wasn't the first job I had, which was a commercial, a regional commercial in New York, for I think it was a steakhouse, and I was a fierce vegetarian for 25 years. I am no longer, but at the time I wasn't. It was for this steakhouse, and I had a like smile as a waitress and like show you this date. I will never. I was like, how on earth did I get hired for this? Like what? Who? I could not fake it. It was the worst. So let me see. I mean, I think I just always believed that I could, but then the first real television job that I was hired for, which was Blossom, the TV show with Mayim Bialik and Joey Lawrence, and they hired me for one episode, and it went so well, and we had such great chemistry. And then they wrote me into the show again, and I felt like, oh, I think I did a good job.
Steve Kmetko
I had to do a commercial once too when I worked in TV news in Northern Wisconsin.
Elisa Donovan
Was it for cheese?
Steve Kmetko
No, no, it wasn't. It was for Sedlac Chevrolet. If you didn't buy your last car from Sedlac, perhaps you paid too much.
Elisa Donovan
You do have the voice. I would buy anything from you. No, I would.
Steve Kmetko
People remind me of that. Quote me to me every once in a while. That was a long time ago, though. What's the most important audition you ever went to?
Elisa Donovan
Well, you mean like the biggest job or the most the
Steve Kmetko
one you wanted the worst.
Elisa Donovan
Well, okay, the one I wanted the most that I did not get, and then had very mixed feelings about it afterwards. Anyway, Showgirls, the Nomi Malone. I remember the character's name, and now everybody knows Elizabeth Berkley did this movie. I was devastated that I did not get this job. I auditioned for it in New York when I was still living there, and met Paul Verhoeven, the director, and they were like, "We're so excited about you, this like new kid that nobody knows. And then I was moving to LA at the time, so then I went through all the auditions there and the dance audition. I really felt like, holy cow! I am getting this movie, and then I did not get that movie, and I was like, "What? You have these moments always along the way. I don't know about other careers, but certainly as an actress, where it's like the come to Jesus, you know, where you're like, am I going to keep doing this, or am I going to am I going to pivot and do something else? And I had had one of those moments in New York City auditioning for a play, Eric Bogosian's play Suburbia, that was on Broadway at Lincoln Center, and very similar story in the sense that they brought me in 100 times. There, I was like unknown, and they were so excited about me, and I was 100% convinced that I was getting this part. And I, the last callback, I went in so many times, and being at Lincoln Center, I was like, "This is I have arrived. Like I, I, this is going to change everything. And I get on the subway, get home, and my agent calls me. They're like, "Well, yeah, I'm sorry, you didn't get the job. They gave it to Martha Plimpton, who was already. I was like, "Wait a second! They knew they were gonna hire her in the first place. You know, they must have known. And she's wonderful. Like I'm sure she was great. But I had this moment where I went. I was devastated, crying. I call my mom, and she says, "Oh, just come home. Why don't you just come home? I mean,
Steve Kmetko
mom.
Elisa Donovan
Yeah, and I was like, "For what? You know. And she said, "Well, just well, you know, just just come home. And I mean, they were on Long Island. It's not as they weren't that far away. And I said, "Why? And she just said, "Well, just you know, just come home, and you can stay for a while here. And in that moment, I realized, like, I don't want to go home. That's not going to solve my problem here. And I really had this moment of, "Do I want to keep doing this? And I was like, "Yes, I do. And so I feel like show. Girls was a similar thing. I can't remember. I had right. I hadn't done Clueless yet because I was still New York. Yeah, so it was all kind of around the same time. So yeah, I was pretty upset. I didn't get that.
Steve Kmetko
Do you feel it's one of those situations where you have to fail before you succeed?
Elisa Donovan
I mean, I
Steve Kmetko
the more you learn from failure,
Elisa Donovan
I think so. I think if you don't, then perhaps that's when your ego really gets inflated. Because your ego gets inflated enough, people are like waiting on you all the time. But what people don't understand is is that they're waiting on you because if if you're running off to get a sandwich, or you know, to get a water, and they're ready for you. It's costing time and money, right? So, when you're being waited on, most of the time it is so that you they keep you in your place, you know. But you can start to get confused about that.
Steve Kmetko
You know what I used to hear all the time that drove me nuts? You have so much potential. Oh, when is potential realized? Tell me that. Yeah,
Elisa Donovan
tell me that. Well, it's funny because people say things like, you know, oh why, you know, why isn't she on a TV? Like speaking about to me, like, well, where did she go? What is she doing? You know, like what? And people don't understand. There are a multitude of things that happen in life and in careers, and this business is so fickle. And you know, just because you're not in the most famous publicized thing at any given moment does not mean that you are not working. Does not mean that you don't have a full life. Like it's it's complicated. It's complicated.
Steve Kmetko
I'm 73 now, and I wonder when my potential is going to when am I going to meet my potential. We'll see. Did anyone on the set have any idea? Clueless would still be quoted 30 years later.
Elisa Donovan
Oh my gosh, I don't. I don't know. I. I remember feeling like. I mean, it was the first big movie that I had ever done. I mean, I so I felt like I was nervous the whole time. I was just nervous, and I just I talked with Alicia about this recently. You know, as we did this Super Bowl commercial together a couple years ago, and then we did a convention, a '90s convention together that same year, and we got to actually sit and have dinner and talk about, you know, what that was like for us, which we didn't do at the time, and it just was so funny because you know all the guys say, "Oh, it was so fun. We were like shooting hoops in between shots, you know, and I was like, I was like in my trailer, worried that I was fat, and I was like, I don't know. Alicia's like, ah, I couldn't, and she told me a whole host of things going on, you know, with her and things, and I, we just were like laughing, but also going, God, like we we we made it through, you know, and it was also very fun, yes, because you know those situations don't come along all the time. Where everything it's like magic in a bottle, you know. Everybody is excellent at their job. It's perfectly cast, perfectly directed, perfectly written. You know, like that is it's a real.
Steve Kmetko
How long was the process of getting that particular job?
Elisa Donovan
That was another one that I almost thought I didn't get, and I went.
Steve Kmetko
What kept you going?
Elisa Donovan
I know. Well, the the belief I knew myself, the love of it, and the belief, and I'm very well trained. You know, I went, so I I felt like I know what I'm doing, but I went in the for the final audition in Scott Rudin's office at Paramount, which there isn't a lot more intimidating than that. I remember feeling like I went in there, and to in my memory, it's like a dark hovel, you know, like where he's in the corner, and Amy was there, and I think Twink Kaplan was there too, but I was petrified. I don't even remember the audition. I remember what I was wearing, but I don't remember. Like, obviously, I guess it went well. But I, I'd say so. But it was the kind of thing where, again, like I went back so many times, and I feel like at one point maybe they were going to hire someone else, and then they didn't. Like I, I don't know. It felt like forever, but that was, I mean, that was such a great feeling.
Steve Kmetko
Was that on the Paramount Loft? Yeah,
Elisa Donovan
yeah.
Steve Kmetko
That's scary, and it's in and of itself. That old,
Elisa Donovan
you know, the old Hollywood of that studio is so beautiful, but it's so, I mean, it's like rich with history. And I was
Steve Kmetko
watching Sunset Boulevard not long ago, and and there's a whole scene at the gate when Norma Desmond is driving on. Yes, yes, and that gate still exists that entranceway.
Elisa Donovan
Wild, and then you know. We we shot did we shoot any of we shot some of the the series that we did there, but there were times I shot we shot Sabrina there as well and where you'd walk around and you know there's just Ron Howard walking around hi you know there's Henry Winkler hey Henry you know like everybody Henry Winkler oh what a wonderful human being that man is! But you know, they're just all these iconic people just walking around that studio. It's like it was a wild place to work. Do
Steve Kmetko
you feel like it's been a learning experience?
Elisa Donovan
Acting? Oh, for sure. Yes, yeah.
Steve Kmetko
You can take all the classes you want, but until you're actually on stage or in front of a camera or
Elisa Donovan
yes,
Steve Kmetko
trying to remember your lines, right?
Elisa Donovan
I mean, the thing is that that's the hard part. I think for actors that if you if you don't if if you don't get to do it, you're not doing it, you know. Like it's you need all these other pieces, you know. Painters can just paint; they can get it. Doesn't mean somebody's going to buy it or whatever. But you know, the actual creative process is not singular, and you do need all these other people. And also, you know, theater is wildly different from making TV and movies, and when I first when I was hired for 902 and O, which was the first hour-long show that I did, so the way that works is very different from you know Blossom is a sitcom multi-camera, and that's the most like theater because you're actually performing in front of a live audience and it's like a fourth wall and but 902 and O is was is very different and I I was like I didn't know what was going on I felt like well we're gonna go and rehearse and I remember Jason comes in and he's like and the first day I was there I had to be in bed with Jason Priestley and I was just like this is how is this gonna go? And he also loveliest, loveliest person ever. And he came in, you know, and said, "This is, you know, it's gonna be, it's gonna be weird, but it's gonna be fine. Like we do this stuff all the time. Like don't worry, you're gonna be okay. It was like great. So they call me in and say, "Okay, we're ready to rehearse. So I go onto the set, and everybody's like chatting, talking, morning coffee. What's going on? How was your weekend? What da? Okay, over here, over there. Okay, great. So you can go back to your dressing room. And I said, okay. When are we gonna rehearse? Like, are we gonna rehearse? And then they come and get me, and they're like, okay, we're ready for you. We're gonna shoot now. It's like, what? Are we not rehearsing? And they said you just did, and I went. What are they talking about? And of course, they're talking about they just did like a blocking rehearsal, right? Like you walk here, you stand here, you do this, and it was such a well-oiled machine. Like we didn't even say the words, and so I went, oh, this is an education right now. Like I got to get it together. I have to. This is a whole new way of doing things.
Steve Kmetko
Were there ever nights when you went home and thought, "What am I doing?
Speaker 1
Oh, did
Steve Kmetko
you ever feel like you wanted to quit, like throw it, throw in the towel?
Elisa Donovan
Um, I did have a few moments on Sabrina where I felt very frustrated creatively, and I felt very, and that's such a great group of people. Like I love all of them, and but I felt very stifled and like the sort of repetitive nature of doing that kind of a show, and I just felt like, what am I doing? Like why am I? Why? What am I doing? And then, though, right? Then I sort of got what I wanted because the show was canceled. I still was another year or so that we shot, and then the show got canceled, and then I tested for all these other shows. I thought I was going to get you know and do another fantastically successful because I kept going to these things that were all very very successful, you know that not because of me but because I just I don't know how that happened. So I thought of course I'm going to go on to another series now, and I screen tested, which any actor knows is like such a hard process and takes forever and is very nerve-wracking. 12 times, sorry, 11 times that season, and I did not get one job. And then my dad got cancer, and my relationship ended, and like my whole life just Went and I was like, "Oh, what do I do? I want to do this anymore? That was the closest I ever came to really saying, you know,
Steve Kmetko
enough,
Elisa Donovan
enough.
Steve Kmetko
What's one behind the scenes story from Clueless that fans probably haven't heard?
Elisa Donovan
I mean, I always remember Alicia's dog. She had-I remember her dog Samson being there, and I remember
Steve Kmetko
Chihuahua, right?
Elisa Donovan
No, is a big dog, like a like a. I want to say it was a
Steve Kmetko
Great Dane.
Elisa Donovan
No, Harry. I'm like, oh my god, this is my brain. You know, I'll describe it to you. Okay, like long hair, long tail. English
Steve Kmetko
sheepdog.
Elisa Donovan
No, Afghan. They're like Afghan. Oh my god, my grandmother had an afghan. No, the ones they're very like in the past kind of dogs. Oh my god, what are they? Labrador Retriever. No, they were sometimes police dogs. She's probably not even a German Shepherd. Good Lord, thank you. It probably wasn't even a German Shepherd, but that's what I remember. Let me okay. What is something that people haven't heard? I. I mean, I always think of Brittany because she just like that's just just so upsetting. I she I remember her coming into the hair and makeup trailer, and she was supposed to be on set, and they wanted her to come in for a touch up. She's like, "No, I got it! I got it! I got it! Like I'm I'm I'm gonna do it myself. And the last thing that a hair and make a person want to hear is like I'm gonna do it myself, and they were like no no no no no no no no you know, and she takes a curling iron, like burns her head, and she's like ow ow oh then of course it turns into this whole thing that was supposed to be a quick touch up to like she's burnt her head, then they got to get her back to set, and I was just it's funny I mean she was fine, obviously, but it's funny because it's like her kind of frenetic. I always say she's like a hummingbird. You know that kind of energy, and she was so vibrant and so you know just so talented.
Steve Kmetko
That was a shame, real shame.
Elisa Donovan
Yeah,
Steve Kmetko
her passing.
Elisa Donovan
Yeah.
Steve Kmetko
Where were you when you heard about her passing?
Elisa Donovan
Oh, I was in L.A. Actually, I was living. I was living in L.A. at the time. That's right, and I was going to Mexico, and I was getting. I was was I at the airport or on the way to the airport, and someone called me and was like, "Did you hear about Brittany? And I said, "No, like Brittany who? And they said Murphy, and then they told me that she had died, but nobody knew. And I, I have to say, the my first thought was I wasn't surprised.
Steve Kmetko
Really?
Elisa Donovan
No, I wasn't. I you know the the last couple of times that I saw, we also shared a hairdresser, not an on set person, but actually just like our hairdresser in life, And she, she would, you know, in confidence, say to me, "I'm worried about her, because she would go to her house, and I said, "I am worried about her, but I'm not, I'm not a close enough friend of hers, you know. I don't. I'm not in her life, and she was on this trajectory. And the last time I saw her was at the Glaad Awards, and she was giving out an award to Liza Minnelli. I want to say like the Lifetime Chief Award or something like that. And we saw each other on the press line, and she was like, she always makes you feel like she's like ecstatic to see you, you know. She's like, "Hey, Lisa, hi, hi, you know, like big hugs. And I, she was like, her knees were like buckling. She was like, like her legs were shaking, and I was like, "What? Are you okay? And she's like, "Yeah, yeah. Like, what do you mean? What? Yeah. And I went, "Something is not okay with this person, and then I saw her again, kind of backstage when she was being taken up to it. And she, you know, we chatted a second, and I just like, I looked at her and I was like, she is not healthy. Like she is not okay, and why is no one helping her? And I felt like because I had been so public about my eating disorder and really was very very public about it, and I was looking at her and I was like, she has an eating disorder and she has a drug problem, and I that's what I thought, and I knew it, and I but there's like just so many people around her. Like, what am I gonna do? Come this person from her past and come in and save the day or something, you know? So I felt really sad for her, and then I noticed like, oh, she's not in these big movies anymore. She's not like something is really going wrong. Because as soon as that starts to happen, you know this business will let you, you know,
Steve Kmetko
fail,
Elisa Donovan
fail, and they will hold you up as long as they can, as long as you're still delivering what they need, right? And so she was doing that for a very long time until probably she couldn't anymore, and then slowly, you know, people start leaving your life that are the ones that are guiding you in the right direction, and I just felt like so. So when I heard about this, I just I was so sad for her, but I also, like I said, I wasn't surprised, and so all these like conspiracy theories of all these things. No, it's not. She was not healthy.
Steve Kmetko
We'll be back in a moment. If you'd like to be more involved with us at Still Here Hollywood, you definitely can. Just visit Patreon.com/slash StillHearHollywood. You can support us for as little as $3 a month. You can get our episodes a day before they post anywhere else. You can see what guests will be coming up and submit questions for them. You can even tell us what stars you want us to have on as guests. You'll see what goes on before and after the episode, plus exclusive behind-the-scenes info, pics, video, and more. Again, that's Patreon.com/slash StillHearHollywood. Being the job I had as an entertainment reporter for so many years here in Hollywood, you can kind of see Hollywood is good to some people, but not good for them.
Elisa Donovan
Correct. Yes, yes.
Steve Kmetko
And sometimes you don't realize that until it's too late.
Elisa Donovan
And people really feed on that. She had some not great people in her life at the time, and you know, it's just it's. But also at the end of the day, nobody you you have to help yourself, you know. So when it
Steve Kmetko
comes down to
Elisa Donovan
it, yeah, yeah,
Steve Kmetko
only you can help you.
Elisa Donovan
Yeah,
Steve Kmetko
Brecken Meyer sat in that chair. Oh, I
Elisa Donovan
love Brecken.
Steve Kmetko
He's a great guy. Yeah, he also had some serious concerns about Brittany's home situation,
Elisa Donovan
yeah,
Steve Kmetko
and he talked to us about it.
Elisa Donovan
He did. He really
Steve Kmetko
misses her.
Elisa Donovan
I know. They were very close, like I and closer than I realized when we we had the 30th anniversary of the of Clueless last year, and so we had 30 years. Yeah, it's crazy. We had. That's how I realized. So wait a second. I've been in San Francisco. Like all the math started to not add up, but so we had several different events, and one was a screening at the academy, and Alicia and Brecken and I were on the panel with Amy, and so we he had talked about how somebody asked him a question about her, and he said, "I didn't even realize that they had like worked together before. That they had played like they had this whole history before we even shot that movie, and I didn't. I had no idea about that. Like I didn't know that they had been so close before. So for him, you know, that's just a whole other. It must have been very painful.
Steve Kmetko
Yeah, he described it. Amber is unforgettable. How how did you figure out who she was?
Elisa Donovan
Well, there were some girls in junior high. My junior high, who were not very nice, mean
Steve Kmetko
girls,
Elisa Donovan
mean girls, and I will not say their names, Tara and Buffy, and like and like a million Jennifer, right? I mean, it's like central casting. No, so and I based them I based Amber on those girls, but then also coupled with the thing you know Amber just wanted to be loved really I mean she wanted to be loved more than cher I suppose I should say and so you have to like you got to give her some, you know, vulnerability, which I feel like, because you can't just be pure evil. But she, so yeah, so I always looked at Amber like she also was jealous, but didn't want to say she was jealous. So you know, that's sometimes, especially young girls. I mean, my daughter's 14. God help me, but you know, it's really hard to express yourself in an authentic way. You know, there's so much going on. So you know, Amber was a little bit older than that, but I so I kind of put this whole thing together. But mainly, the me. Girls from my eighth grade.
Steve Kmetko
Curse them.
Elisa Donovan
Curse them. Yeah. Well, and thank you know. Thank you.
Steve Kmetko
Was Amber secretly more fun to play than audiences might imagine?
Elisa Donovan
Oh yeah. I mean, of course, she was the most fun. I mean, it was always, especially like the wardrobe. It was a full. It was so creatively fun. Like it was such a gift because, as an actor, if you're getting something, you know, if you your wardrobe helps you to become the person, you know. And hers was so definitive and so expressive. And so Mona May and Lisa Evans was her assistant. We would always the the the wardrobe was like constantly being added to. You have the fittings, and we know what we're wearing. And then on the day, it would be like, oh wait, we're gonna put this on your hat, or no, take this thing for your shoe. You know, it was always something. This idea that she, you know, went to the Paris runways and then brought it right to English class, you know, without without you know shifting it the way you probably should if you were going to high school,
Steve Kmetko
and the Paris runways.
Elisa Donovan
Yes,
Steve Kmetko
how much of Amber was actually you?
Elisa Donovan
I
Steve Kmetko
can you?
Elisa Donovan
I don't think any. I mean, this is what's crazy, right? Is that we're sitting here, and why are we sitting here? Really, okay, I've done a ton of things, but really, why are we sitting here because of that movie, right? And I think, gosh, it's it's a huge blessing, but it's also like a it never goes away, which I'm very proud of. Like something I think last year, when we were at the academy screening, I think was the first time that I went. Oh, okay. Like I'm really a part of this, and and and people really really do love it. It's not that I didn't think it was good because I think it's an amazing movie and it really does hold up still. But something about it I didn't like really. I don't know what the word is. Like I didn't lean into it or I didn't actually appreciate. I don't know what the with the thing is like I, I guess I really started to enjoy the fact that this is a pretty important thing. Like we're at the Academy of Motion Pictures right now. This is this is an important film, and somehow my part, even though it's quite it's quite small, it is like very memorable. I guess so. There's something, you know, it's defined my life to some degree.
Steve Kmetko
Do you remember from that night questions that were brought up or topics that were brought up that kind of surprised you
Elisa Donovan
at the academy screening?
Steve Kmetko
Oh, I didn't think of it that way.
Elisa Donovan
I mean, she was such a great interview. It was a they had a young girl interviewing us. Also, I mean, they asked more, you know, traditional kinds of questions about how it was give and take from
Steve Kmetko
the audience.
Elisa Donovan
There were a couple of audience questions, yes, but it was mainly we were on the panel and she was asking the questions, and I think it was like it was you know I I always felt a little bit like I always bring up Brittany and especially in those situations because I feel as though well first of all she should be there you know, and I was. I said to somebody, you know, I feel like if she was here, I wouldn't be in this seat. And then somebody said, "What are you talking about? No, like yes, she should be here, but you, your presence was really important in this too. And then I went. Okay, okay, I guess that's
Steve Kmetko
nice to hear.
Elisa Donovan
It is nice to hear because it does. I feel a little bit like I get so much attention for this, and I don't quite know. Not that I don't know why. I don't know.
Steve Kmetko
Hard to talk about yourself in that yes in that context.
Elisa Donovan
Yes,
Steve Kmetko
was there an improvised moment that made it into the film that you were surprised?
Elisa Donovan
A little, yes. There is a moment when that I remember. I think it's in the movie. Two things. One, where I'm, I'm eating a carrot, like we're sitting outside. I think it's when Brittany is. Do you know, I think she's talking about like her dramatic fall. Like now, I can't really even remember the movie, but she's like getting everyone's attention on the canvas, and I think I'm sitting there, and Amy, Amy is so great, like this, like she's just such an amazing director in this way. She was just you know there's like a carrot on the table. She's like no pick up the carrot, just eat the carrot, and I'm like okay. And she said no like eat it like you're really interested in what she's saying. And I'm like you know doing this whole thing or she'll like she just would put these little things in there directorially that were so good like the W. She's the one that told me to do that. I didn't even, you know, I was like, "Does it look like a W? Is that a W? And I'm like, "Oh, oh, okay, yeah. And also the Hadeans. When when Alicia says Hadeans, that was not. She just she just didn't know that it was Haitians, right? And Amy, you could see her behind the monitor, like, "Yes, this is great. Is
Steve Kmetko
there a line from Clueless that you're most asked to repeat?
Elisa Donovan
Oh, for sure.
Steve Kmetko
What?
Elisa Donovan
Don't do any activity where balls fly at your nose, which I, for the record, didn't even understand what that joke meant when I said it, which I think is fine because she's not. It doesn't matter that I that Amber doesn't know what it means because she's not saying it. But I really didn't know. And then like half we had already shot the scene, and halfway through I was like, you know, like halfway through the shoot of the movie, I went, oh, that's why everyone's laughing at this. Like I did not understand it, and then I went, "Oh my god, how can I be so stupid?
Steve Kmetko
Well, life teaches you things when you need to know it. What do you think about Clueless still connects with young audiences?
Elisa Donovan
You know, I think this is like the big question, right? Of why. I think it's a couple of things because it really so specifically and beautifully captures that time in life, and even though these are very specific people who live in a specific place, all of those dynamics exist in any certainly in any American culture community to to varying degrees you know so I think there's something that's really identifiable about that and there's something that's very satisfying for every kind of every group, you know. It isn't. It isn't like the mean girls succeed and no one else does, or you know, the ingenue is is the star and nobody else does. It's like all of these individual characters have real. They they just have real depth, and and I think it's it's it's not judging any of these people, even Amber, who's like they still hang out with her, you know, like she's still. So I mean, I think it's that, and I think that it's just it's it's just so well crafted, and it's nice to look at, you know. It's like bright and shiny.
Steve Kmetko
Hollywood has changed dramatically since the 1990s.
Speaker 2
Yeah.
Steve Kmetko
What's What's better today, and what what do you miss?
Elisa Donovan
I think I I miss going in in person for auditions that doesn't really even happen. Yeah, I really miss small movies. I mean, I I have had a movie in development that I wrote that's based on my book that I wrote for years now. Have phenomenal producer, incredible cast, and it's like you can't get a small movie made if it's not a Marvel movie or a horror movie. You can't like there's no space because it's everything is run like corporations, and you know the studios have always been corporations to a degree, but there were so many creatives that were just under that that were making a lot of the decisions along with you know the financial decisions that are being right. And I don't I think that's going away if it's not gone away, and I do worry that I well I I don't worry because I'm not a fatalist, but I I think that storytelling is so vital to humanity, to to art, to curiosity, to allowing it's like how we digest difficult things sometimes, you know, and if we lose that, I'm worried. Like I don't know where we go. If you can't sit and you know sit in a theater and have this experience with people, or or in your living room watching you know a great show, and there is so much. So many great television shows, especially now. But there's so
Steve Kmetko
many outlets now.
Elisa Donovan
So many outlets. Yes, yes. That weren't there before. Yeah. So that part is great, but I do worry about the kind of homogenous nature of everything. You know, like some of these, like God bless the Marvel movies, okay. But some of them, you're like, it doesn't matter. It's the same thing. Like, I don't even know. I don't know who is who. It doesn't matter. It's exactly the same story and the same things and the same. Even my my daughter said we went to see, which actually are both are wonderful movies in my opinion. The new Spider-Man movie and the Odyssey, and she said, "Look, the three there's the. I just made her sound like she's two. She's 14. She did not sound like that. But she said, "Why is it all the same people? She said, "Zendaya, Tom Holland, whom I happen to again, I happen to love these two. I don't know them. I happen to love their work. I think they're great. They're charming. I love that they're married. Like I just love their whole thing. But she said it's there in both of these movies, and someone else also is in both of them. And I said because there isn't a lot of like room. But I said really, you know, Matt Damon is the one that got that movie made. It's not, you know. But so it's sort of like I just I would like for there to be more, like the Odyssey is, I haven't seen it yet. I'm dying to see it. It's so good. It's very, very, very good. And
Steve Kmetko
but it's three hours, and they don't have an intermission, right? It's
Elisa Donovan
three hours. I felt like, oh my gosh, my my that is a toughie. We made it. We made it. My 14 year old daughter made it through too. She was, it's it's quite good.
Steve Kmetko
We'll be right back. What inspired you to become an author?
Elisa Donovan
You know, I probably was a started writing before acting. As a kid, I was always writing stories and writing long journal entries. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, very much so. And I would write. You know, I remember we when I grew up on Long Island, and we the house that my parents bought did had this big backyard, but didn't have a pool. So my dad wanted to put in a pool, and we had you know people put in the pool, but then it became this thing of helping with like he wouldn't putting the the cover on and off the pool like while they were making. I can't remember the details of it, but my dad was like, "Get it together! Like we have to put the water bags on the thing and do this all this stuff, and I was sitting in the corner, like writing, dictating, and then he said angrily, "Blah, and he was like, 'If you don't put that pencil down, like get.' I had that the little black and white marble notebook, and I was like, and then he really yelled, and then chased me around that. You know what I mean? So I was just always like writing these things, and then in high school is when I really started to write. Had a wonderful teacher, and she, a writing teacher, and she said, "You should write autobiographical fiction, like that's a thing, you know. And I was like, "Oh, it is. And she said, "Yes, like the way that you write and are able to capture your own experience and make it universal. And I went, "Wow, okay. So I just started writing pretty seriously then, and then in college, and
Steve Kmetko
then it helps to keep a journal, doesn't it? Yes.
Elisa Donovan
Oh, for sure. And then you know, when the shit hits the fan, you, I just was like left me and my, you know. Then it turned into laptop, but I just was writing all the time to like actually help me through my grief. It just it was like a huge, Huge asset for me. Like it was a help.
Steve Kmetko
I think they tell you, professionals tell you to do that, don't they? To to write down when you're going through grief or tough times.
Elisa Donovan
Yeah, I think it's actually pretty scientifically proven, and there is something that's really important about the actual like pen to paper. The typing is also, but the actual writing, the longhand is it's it's therapeutic.
Steve Kmetko
I know it used to help me remember things when I wanted to remember something. Yes, write it down. Yes,
Elisa Donovan
yes.
Steve Kmetko
Did writing reveal things about yourself that acting never had?
Elisa Donovan
Oh yeah, for sure. I mean, to me, it's the purest. I mean, I became an actor because I, I think if I, you know, intellectualize this, because I always wanted to. Transmit the human condition. Like I used to say these things, which sounded so highfalutin when I was like you know 16 or something, but it really is true. Like that's what I felt like I was supposed to do. And with writing, I can I get to really do it. It's like the purest form, and I just love language. I love words, and it allows me. It's such a bigger way for me to express myself. Really, we don't always, you know, you don't always get that opportunity as an actor. Sometimes, I mean, some people do, but you know I haven't always been able to play things that are like really deep and really interesting. You know, even though I try to make them that way. So writing is for me. It's like I I I love it. Is that what
Steve Kmetko
you do when you have a little bit of downtime, or want to relax, or
Elisa Donovan
yeah, I get things off
Steve Kmetko
your chest.
Elisa Donovan
Yes, but it's also like I, we, let me see how did this go. So the the the movie of is called Wake Me When You Leave, my book and the movie, but the movie we were trying to get the funding, and then I got the book deal first. So we thought, oh, this is great. Got the book deal, signed the papers march 11 of 2020. So if you remember what March of 2020 was, pandemic, whole world, and I, you know, the publisher said so. The first deadline will be June, and I had written most of the buzz how I got the deal. Most of it was written, but not entirely. And and I said sure, like that's going to be great, no problem. Like I write really quickly because you get like I get into kind of zone, like the flow, the creative flow, and I can just like for hours, and then of course you know that turned into oh my daughter's oh she's not going back to school oh it'll just be for two weeks oh they're not going back for the rest of the year oh my husband's working in the guest room oh we're we're building a stand up desk like what oh he's like cooking bacon at noon and it's smelling up the house. Like, what is going on? So it turned into this. Like, I could not, but but it actually really saved me because I was losing my marbles like everybody else. And but we, it was really hard, and I do feel like it saved me because having that creative outlet and and in a way that I actually had a deadline, I think it it helped me stay sane. I don't think I stayed completely sane in the pandemic, to be clear, but I I don't think
Steve Kmetko
anybody did. I
Elisa Donovan
do think that it helped me be okay because I just, it was like something that I needed to do, and I was getting great. And I feel like that book, especially, it's like a, you know, it's like a channeling type of wake me when you leave.
Steve Kmetko
Leave. Can you give us an idea more of of?
Elisa Donovan
Yes. So it is about losing my dad to cancer and how it changed my life and my career and everything. I essentially had, you know, went from totally understanding what my life was, being on a TV show, have a great boyfriend that I'm going to marry, everybody's happy, I've got this great life. To systematically, everything just got stripped away, and I had this whole spiritual awakening that I did not expect nor want to have. My dad was diagnosed in July, and he died January 1. It was very fast, and it was pretty bad, you know. He was not kind, and he died at home. It was awful. Like he was violent. It was it was a terrible end, you know. And I, I when I hear these stories of people, like you know, oh, and we all, you know, gathered around and we talked about stories and how great life was, and then they just passed away. Like, no, that is not what happened in our house. You know, so it was really pretty bad. And I then went back to L.A. because they were in in North Carolina, and I just reassessed my whole life, and I didn't. I really didn't know what to do. Like I would go. I remember going into some auditions. Like I was practically in pajamas, and I would just walk in. Like, hi. Oh, is it my turn? Okay, you know, like reading a comedy, and they're all like, "She is not so funny anymore, you know. And I felt like, yeah, maybe I'm not funny anymore, you know. That's just not what I, and it was wild. And you know, you can't do that for long and expect to keep getting jobs, you know, but I really just couldn't. I just was like, I was like, I don't know what I'm doing here. I really don't know what I'm doing here. And then, when did all
Steve Kmetko
that shift?
Elisa Donovan
I started to have these dreams with my dad, where he came to visit me, and I. It anybody that's had a dream like this, they're very different from just a regular dream. Like when it's a visitation, it's very specific. It feels like this. It's. I mean, I explained it in the book, but so he that really helped me to heal because you know when he died, our it's not that our relationship was bad, but we were there was no closure. I came home and felt like we're gonna have these great talks, and I I went. He was in the hospital when I the last time I I came home, and I said to him, you know, don't worry, like we're gonna take care of mom, and it's gonna be okay. And he just went, "What are you talking about? He could barely talk. He had no voice, and he was like screaming, angry at me, like I'm not dying. What's wrong with you? I'm. I got to get out of here. You know, it was like it was very crazy. So these dreams helped me to heal in this way, where he told me how he just he's like I couldn't I couldn't express myself in life. Like I couldn't, I I couldn't. He said things like, "I feel so much now, because that was always our issue, right? He was a very pragmatic man, provider, you know, AT and T exec. Like you do these things, even though really, I think he just wanted to be like a botanist. He wanted to like plant, you know. That's what he did: his gardening on the weekends. Anyway, but we were very like we had a we were opposing forces a lot of the time, and he never understood me like for sure. I was like, this guy does not get who I am, even though we would have these like political debates and we would have like real kind of like you know energetic conversations. But when he passed through these dreams and these other experiences, it was like he was telling me, "I I see you. I see you so much more clearly now. Like he even said this to me, and when like brought me through all the things of my life, like in an instant, this like life. There's a there's a there's a term for it where you know you're entire you see your entire life in a in sort of a second right, and I very much had that experience with him several times, and it it just changed everything. And so I what did
Steve Kmetko
you did you wake up and then write and
Elisa Donovan
so interestingly so I had so right. He passed january 1, and this dream happened in April. The first one happened in April, and from January to April, I didn't write anything. I don't think I did anything. I just was like kind of staring at walls in my house, and then when that happened, I started to write, and at first I started to write about my mom because I kept thinking, "How is she surviving? They were together over 50 years. I mean, they got married when she was 20 years old or something. You know, like she doesn't know what it is to live without this person. So when I was thinking about my own grief, I just kept thinking about hers. So she is a big part of the book too, and then because you can't you you have to sort of like tiptoe around it for a while until. But these dreams and these these experiences helped me to like settle into my body enough to actually pay attention to what was happening, and to be able to touch my grief, to be able to really experience and process it, and then I realized nobody, nobody ever talks about grief in this in our culture in this country. Like it's not nobody wants to talk about it. Nobody wants to get old. Nobody wants to talk about death or difficult things, and so it's incredibly lonely. So I felt so isolated because nobody knew what to say to me, and that was so painful that I just felt like I can't be anywhere because. Because I feel like so much, I feel like this. I am like a, you know, monster walking into the room, and nobody knows what to say. So I just won't be around anyone. So part of this was like me processing it for myself, and then realizing we need to we need to be more comfortable talking about these things, and we need to understand that it's a part of life. Like this is what makes life beautiful. It's what makes it meaningful. You know, it's like grief means that that you've had something that you've lost, something that touches you, something that matters to you. You know, so it was really important for me to kind of start to get that conversation, and the fact that when someone passes, they're not they're not gone. They're gone physically. They're not here in the room with you, but they're always. That's my belief, and has has been my experience that they are always here. Their energy is
Steve Kmetko
here. If Amber could meet you today as a mother, what advice would you tell her about teen insecurities?
Elisa Donovan
I would tell her she's doing a great job. You just keep doing exactly what you're doing. You forge your own path. You wear what you want to wear, but maybe a little kinder, little bit nicer, but you just like stay on your own path.
Steve Kmetko
Thank you, Alisa. I appreciate you coming in today.
Elisa Donovan
Thank you, Steve. This was really my pleasure.
Steve Kmetko
Still Here Hollywood is a production of the Still Here Network. All Things Technical, run by Justin Zangerle, theme music by Brian Sanishin, and executive producer is Jim Lichtenstein.